player went ghost - wanting this immature, antisocial behaviour be accountable

[tahl_liadon]

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i had a player went ghost.

this happened before and it's annoying as fnck. it's immature, antisocial, and simply inconsiderate.

i had actually enlisted a new player to join a game, which would have created a 5-player table. then on game night realized one of the other 4 didn't show, only to quickly discover he had already gone ghost. had a new player not been there that evening, the ghost would have wasted 4 people's time, session canceled from not having minimum of 4 players for a pathfinder adventure path.

he removed himself from discord channel so i couldn't send a message asking why, or at the very least let me know if there was a problem that i (as gm) could help resolve. i was even prepared to accept if he didn't like my gm'ing style, or simply not finding the table a good fit -- it's not that unusual. we move on.

i know other gms experienced same, and general feeling i've gathered has been accepting that this is online and people don't take accountability.

i say: no! that's bullsh!t. this online antisocial behaviour doesn't need to be the norm.

with each ghost, i was tempted to out the player and post his username, blacklist him for other gms. sure he could create a new username and start again, but maybe fg administrators can be involved (e.g. not allowing user with same i.p. address to signup new account) to help cut down this problem, one that actually has negative impact on other people. i'm all for creating an even better community, one with standards that will not give these ghosts free passes to disrupt and waste others times.

just to be clear: this is not about either players or gms not seeing compatibility and respectably communicate before bowing out.

i want to air this and see what the community thinks, and perhaps provide other solutions.

[seycyrus]

I think you should post his information. At least others will be aware of potential problems. I am all for consequences.

[Zacchaeus]

I think you should post his information. At least others will be aware of potential problems. I am all for consequences.

No. These forums are not about witch hunts. Accept that people do this and move on.

[tahl_liadon]

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No. These forums are not about witch hunts. Accept that people do this and move on.

this is an unfortunate decision, but i will respect the rules.

[Marquis_de_Taigeis]

Please do not post peoples usernames, Yes it is an unfortunate demise that people don't think of the repercussion of there actions with the whole just going off the grid and disappearing from a game. There could be some serious reason for there actions (thinking mental health here) but if users were to starts creating blacklists for users who ghosted this could become subject to abuse for other reasons. Keep a note of the username for your own records and if they ever contact you about joining another game, politely explain any concerns regarding the previous encounter.

I would have serious concern regarding IP address blocking onto usernames, for example my house external IP address accounts for myself and my flatmate who both use FG, and filtering IP to usernames could severly hinder others sharing the same residence and Internet set up if it was to block the multiple usernames

[LordEntrails]

I agree with Mr Z. No witch hunts.

You are making a whole bunch of assumptions. And you are taking the actions as others as personal affronts. Neither of which are productive. I'm sure that if people wanted to (which would prove equally unproductive, so I hope no one does) come up with a dozen or more valid reasons for the actions that you observed.

Let it go, move on, and don't worry about it.

[dellanx]

It can happen both ways, I guess. When my 1st group broke up, I thought of stopping, but one of my players stayed. At that time I decided to ask for more players that were like minded.

The first group of players I gathered a new, I made a suggestion and that player was high strung he accused me of being the kind of GM he did not wish to have. Again three players quit, and my old player stayed.

I found three more players it took a while, but finally we were ready. In October 2018 we started Session 1 of the Season 2 on my campaign. Somewhere 10 sessions into the game the guy playing the Sorceress quit. He said that he quite for family reasons, but maybe I offended him or something. I was upfront with all the players, it is an adult game and I plan to explore uncomfortable topics: evil, good, lust, etc... At that time we were still scratching the surface, and I found another player to replace the player that played Sorceress.

This group I consider my friends, and I hope if I do something to piss them off they will approach me and let me know what I did. Last night we played session 73, I have game withdrawal, making game summaries for each game helps, but I still have to wait till next Saturday.

I have shortcomings, I let my players know what they are. I hope that I play to my strengths, and my players will help me find answers on such topics as "Rules" and stuff. The only thing that I don't look forward to is finishing this game, maybe that is why I added so much content.

One of my players asked me how many more games do we have left? I could not tell him maybe 70 to 100+, I don't know. Maybe by that time they will be level 30?

I am grateful that my friends that I never met, keep me updated and make it to games regularly, and when they can't make it they let me know. Life happens.

Be kind to each other, and saying "Yes" helps.