A Public Service Announcement from the League of Massive Monsters...

[HoloGnome]

Dear Pathfinders,

By all means, when you encounter one of our esteemed members whilst out in the wild or delving dungeons deep, please provoke as many Attacks of Opportunity as possible. Massive monsters that have abilities such as reach, grab, gnaw, swallow whole, constrict, etc. often struggle to have enough protein in their diets and are always thankful when Pathfinders run headlong into close combat instead of chipping away like cowards with ranged weapons.

In fact, there are locales all over Golarion that are inhabited by creatures like Behirs, Inverted Guardians, Giant Moray Eels, etc. that await your arrival with gustatorial enthusiasm. When in doubt, just run in and say hi and don't pay any attention to anything you might learn from those pesky old knowledge checks.

And, if you happen to think of it, if you could purchase some Alchemical Worcestershire Sauce to carry in your inventory, that would be splendid! Many Massive Monsters are quite epicurious and would appreciate the extra flavor while devouring you.

Yours in Digestion,

Sigmund the Seamonster
Chief Correspondent
League of Massive Monsters

ps. Also, if possible, please wear less armor, since our members are a bit leery of intestinal blockages.

[GM BK]

I got swallowed whole once... it was a messy affair! By the way, what was the name of that creature anyways? It was the end beastie from Ironbound Schism.

[HoloGnome]

Shhh...no spoilers!! But, you chose to be swallowed to successfully and dramatically save the life of another. It was a very noble moment and you shall henceforth be known as: Sir Not Digested In This Scenario! :D

[Vhok]

I remember when my wolf got eaten by that giant plant

[GM BK]

Shhh...no spoilers!! But, you chose to be swallowed to successfully and dramatically save the life of another. It was a very noble moment and you shall henceforth be known as: Sir Not Digested In This Scenario! :D

I shall wear it as a badge of honor!

[Lord Kavos]

"Ulfgar not wear much armor...but massive monster not only one with AoOs - just try to eat Ulfgar some time."

"Ulfgar need new shiny monster tooth anyway..."

(Still waiting to try out the Brutal Pugilist barbarian archetype - so far nothing has tried to grab or eat him even once...)

[cmdisc]

My insane cleric Malachi, follower of Groetus, has never experienced being gobbled up by some large monster before. It sounds fascinating. Is there a line forming for this? Is skipping the sharp, bone-crushing teeth and going right for the gullet an option? Is going head-first or feet-first generally better? He'd hate to get lodged half way and he's not the flexible sort to fold up easily.

So if options are open, he supposes it might be fun...although the negative bursts of energy he'd be putting out might make such a creature regret the ensuing indigestion.

[HoloGnome]

I think the LoMM is likely to send Ulfgar an invitation to join their ranks. :D

cm - Malachi should confer with the battle cleric Jo'Qar al Mualim, who took the head-first approach and allowed himself to be swallowed and take the damage to deliver healing to the already-swallowed PC who was one round away from death. It was a rare and epic FGCON 7 moment of self-sacrifice that saved another PC's life. :D The MM was put to rest in that round, but not before he dealt his swallowing damage to both PCs that would have otherwise been lethal to the first PC had he not been healed.

This experience also highlights an 'un-familiar' and undocumented protective item in Pathfinder which is affectionately called "The Monster Satchel." The Monster Satchel, is not, in fact, a satchel to keep monsters safe from harm, but rather a large item consisting of the living and intact stomach within the body of a huge creature that provides Total Cover vs. outside channeling and other burst effects to those inside its protective space.

As a channeling cleric, Jo'Qar reamained undaunted by the protective effects of the Monster Satchel.

The League of Massive Monsters encourages all PCs to make use of the Monster Satchel whenever possible to keep themselves out of harm's way.

[GM BK]

Jo'Qar would advise going in head first. He says the trick to it is making yourself as streamlined as possible, so make sure you tuck in your arms and keep your legs together. The worst part was probably the dry cleaning bill... seriously... You don't know what you'll find in the belly of the beast, and some of that stuff doesn't come out easy!

[kwarner1986]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBqU0RnqBpE

*whistles*

[HoloGnome]

Ha haaaa!! Perfect! :D