Blaming people for not showing up without reason or message

[Waldbaer]

Hey guys,

I have had a lot of games with FG and often experience cancellations short before the game starts or whatever. I know that life can play tricks on everyone and that there are sometimes more important issues in real life than a nice roleplaying game of FG.

So I would never blame people for not showing up in such cases.

But there are other "gamers" which approved appointments with you as a GM and where you even put time to meet them online before the game and check out settings of voice and stuff. You talk about the date and time of the game. You write "remembering mails" early enough. You practically do all things possible to have a nice roleplaying event. You do a GREAT GM job and invest time which is the most precious thing.

And then on the day of gaming no one shows up. And additionally, after confronting such people with the question "why" - you do not even get a reply per mail, per PM or per all the other possibilities modern time has. You actually do not see or better hear of them again.

I wonder if it makes sense to identify forum names like that somewhere - just because this could help in a life of a GM. And again - I am no one who blames easily someone else but this really sucks sometime and bring the fun of FG down a lot.

I also know that you would need rules here which no one could check. Therefore I already know that this is a bad idea!

So please just take this thread as a "whining thread" because now I feel better about my game which was not working today due to above reasons (and I will not mention names here of course).

Thanks for reading

p.s. anyone who feels similiar just let me know. That makes thing better in GM life. Relieve your soul

[Myrdin Potter]

I don’t think a shame list helps anything. I had a player playing a Bard in one of my games that dropped out mid session and never replied to any messages. Some people just decide they do not like or want what they thought before and don’t want to explain why. Just accept it and move on.

[Waldbaer]

I don’t think a shame list helps anything. I had a player playing a Bard in one of my games that dropped out mid session and never replied to any messages. Some people just decide they do not like or want what they thought before and don’t want to explain why. Just accept it and move on.

Of course you are right. I somehow needed to write this to feel better. This is more or less a call for all the poor GMs in similar situations who want to get it off one's chest.

[Waldbaer]

...because they were so much looking forward to a game and prepping everything etc. and then you were not able to go that path because not enough players showed up...

[JohnD]

Yes it sucks when that happens. Seems to happen in my experience, with demo users because it is easier to treat your game, time and prep work as disposable entertainment. Plus, it's also really easy to be a douchenozzle online.

If possible, have pregens for new players.

This used to bother me more than it currently does. Keep trying, churn the flakes out and build your roster gradually. I remember going through 6 players just to find one that stuck. I'm trying to bring in a bunch of new people now with my Yggsburgh / Castle Zagyg game... some will stick and some won't.

Keep moving forward try not to get discouraged. Hit me up on TeamSpeak sometime, I'll share some tricks to help group cohesion (I've been running games online for over 14 years now).

[ShadowMystik]

I tried to log into WaldBaer's game. But I think my internet connection was/is bad. I kept getting dropped by Fantasy Grounds and my TeamSpeak was coming across as so much static. One other person showed up but would not wait long to see if I could get things straightened out or if a third person showed up. The weird thing is that WaldBaer and I did a sound check yesterday and everything worked fine yet today it was a total fail.

[damned]

Waldbaer as others have pointed out attrition rate with new players can be high. Dont take it personally - although it never hurts to ask for feedback to help improve - just send them a follow up email. If you dont get a response after 3 days open their spot up to someone else. Over time you will build up a list of good players. Please dont make a public shame list - it will be removed and it doesnt really benefit anyone. You can keep your own little black book but even that is of less use as your table begins to fill with reliable players. And sometimes life is being cruel to someone and they are unable to join or even notify you.

[Waldbaer]

Waldbaer as others have pointed out attrition rate with new players can be high. Dont take it personally - although it never hurts to ask for feedback to help improve - just send them a follow up email. If you dont get a response after 3 days open their spot up to someone else. Over time you will build up a list of good players. Please dont make a public shame list - it will be removed and it doesnt really benefit anyone. You can keep your own little black book but even that is of less use as your table begins to fill with reliable players. And sometimes life is being cruel to someone and they are unable to join or even notify you.

I really would never do such a thing like blaming people in public. I simply needed to write some thoughts about that issue and finally I had quite a good time yesterday while accidentally joining the professor team of Laerun on his discord server (s. LFG sticky thread).

Thank you all for your kind words - I will keep my little black book to myself for future games...I will hold and protect it. It's like my magic tome from now on....muaaaahahaha

[Waldbaer]

I tried to log into WaldBaer's game. But I think my internet connection was/is bad. I kept getting dropped by Fantasy Grounds and my TeamSpeak was coming across as so much static. One other person showed up but would not wait long to see if I could get things straightened out or if a third person showed up. The weird thing is that WaldBaer and I did a sound check yesterday and everything worked fine yet today it was a total fail.

Hi ShadowMystik,

all is fine - I really do not mean you. You are a reliable player and I will not add you to you my little black tome of evil players It can happen easily to have a bad internet connection or a not working setup sometimes where one is not able to find a working solution on time. Actually I have seen you trying to connect several times.

I look forward to having you on my next try to finalize the adventure which we have started some weeks ago.

[Waldbaer]

Yes it sucks when that happens. Seems to happen in my experience, with demo users because it is easier to treat your game, time and prep work as disposable entertainment. Plus, it's also really easy to be a douchenozzle online.

If possible, have pregens for new players.

This used to bother me more than it currently does. Keep trying, churn the flakes out and build your roster gradually. I remember going through 6 players just to find one that stuck. I'm trying to bring in a bunch of new people now with my Yggsburgh / Castle Zagyg game... some will stick and some won't.

Keep moving forward try not to get discouraged. Hit me up on TeamSpeak sometime, I'll share some tricks to help group cohesion (I've been running games online for over 14 years now).

Thank you for your words. I have around 16 pregens ready every time when playing just to be prepared for all cases. I try to learn from all of you to calm my mood more in situations like that. I already found a good base of players - and there you often have issues like voice or internet connection that prevent someone from connecting. If you at least try this is sufficient for me. I also now that life could play tricks on you and suddenly you cannot join. I just don't understand if it is too difficult to at least send a one liner to the GM on time before the game starts.

I also know that I have to become calmer on issues like that. I swear I will grow up